Short Tale 4 -"Lost without ya"



«The minute I opened up the door I knew that that was just another huge mistake...
We just had a fight a couple of hours before and you said that you don't need this in your life...That I was too complicated for you...
I'm too complicated?...Those words kept pounding in my brain since the moment they came out of your mouth...
But there you were...Standing at my door again...Asking me to come inside and have a word...
I knew I should have said: "There's nothing else for us to say..." I knew I should have asked you to leave...
But I didn't...I couldn't...It was stronger than me...
You tried to hold me but I stepped away from you...Turned my back on you and faced the wall...I needed to stay focused and I couldn't do it staring at your eyes...
You apologized about the way you acted before...But I was hurt...
You came closer and put your arms around me...I asked you to stop and go away...
You turned me and made me face you...Placed your finger gently over my lips and shushed me...
My whole body was trembling and I could barely feel my legs...The way you pressed your body against mine allowed me to feel the heart beat on your chest....
My mind was saying "I want you no more!..." but my body was screaming for you!...
Gosh! I hated myself for being so weak!...
You pushed me against that wall and kissed me passionately...Your hands were all over me...I felt like you were discovering my body for the very first time thou you knew it better than me...
I wrapped my legs around you and you took me to the bed...
I knew it was a mistake...
I knew you'd hurt me again...
And still I gave myself to you completely...Heart....Body..And soul...
Three months later I received a letter from you....I sat on the sofa...Opened a bottle of wine and took a sip of it...
Tears were now running down my face...My world was crashing down with each word you placed in that letter...
You were getting married in three weeks time...With the girl your family wanted you to...
What about me?....What about us?....
Well...I guess I'm too complicated!....
And I always knew that....
Still...I couldn't stop loving you...
The fruit of my passion for you is now growing inside me...Nearly three months now...
But it's meaningless...It doesn't matter...Not anymore...
All I want now is to put an end to this pain...
I grabbed the bottle of wine...Filled up the tub..Lighted up some candles...Dropped my robe on the floor...And got in...
The warm water eased the pain on my body...
The razor eased the pain on my soul...
I closed my eyes and felt the pain being drained away...»


By:Sandra Carvalho
10/04/2010